The Elusive RedTailed Bombay
by baka411
Summary: Yohji and Omi happened to be on a mission that didn't go as planned. Someone doesn't follow directions well...


A/N: My first-ever Weiss Kreuz fic, and the shortest I think I've ever written. Still ought to be a little amusing, I would hope, but I won't be pleasing everyone. So here's the deal: I DON'T OWN WEISS KREUZ! If I did, I'd be rich, fluent in Japanese, etc., etc..  
  
Pairing is YohjixOmi, and if I ever write another story, I'll be more flexible with the pairings. This seemed to fit for this particular tale. I should warn you about the shounen ai featured in this story, and it's a humor fic to make your belly jiggle with da giggles. (Can we say 'dork'?)  
  
The summary is basically this: Omi and Yohji are sent on a mission, and everything doesn't happen as planned. One of us doesn't listen to directions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Story of the Elusive Red-Tailed Bombay  
  
Or  
  
Just What Really Happens When Yohji is Ignored  
  
Ken and Aya sat placidly in front of the television, awaiting the return of their fellow Weiss, Yohji and Omi. They'd sent a report back stating the mission was a success, but they seemed far from pleased as they entered the house. "Omi, you should have taken the shot when I said! You could have jeopardized the entire mission!" Yohji was angriest of the two by the look of things, but that wasn't to say Omi was all sunshine and candy buttons.  
  
"Get off my back about it, Yohji! The mission's a success, the objective is dead, and you've been hounding me ever since we disposed of the body! I couldn't take the shot when you said because THE SHOT WASN'T CLEAR. I can't emphasize that enough! Now stop yelling at me about it!" Omi kicked off his shoes and made it a point to ignore Yohji's glare, being too fed up with Balinese to even think straight.  
  
"Come back here, Tsukiyono Omi! I'm not done with you yet!" Yohji angrily seized the back of Omi's jacket in his hand and tugged him back, making him turn so they saw eye to eye. "I gave specific instructions so we could be in and out of there in less than a minute! Thanks to your stubbornness, this mission took an extra thirty seconds we might not have had any other time!"  
  
Omi flushed angrily, his eyes burning with frustration. "So what are you gonna do about it? Spank me?! Get real, Yohji; what matters is the mission's done." Omi would have continued his train of thought, but the wicked smirk on Yohji's face made him pause for a crucial second. "Nan da?"  
  
"Actually," Yohji began, heaving Omi over his shoulder. "I think I will. It's about time someone took you in hand and opened up your ears, Omi, and a spanking is just the thing to remedy this attitude of yours. Right guys?"  
  
Ken stood up from his seat and held his arms up to stop Yohji for a moment and protect himself from the wrath of Omi's kicking legs. "Yohji, remember who you're dealing with." Omi paused and tried to look to Ken gratefully, but his gratitude was short lived as Ken gave a giggle and yanked down Omi's shorts to show off his sky-blue boxers. "Let me help!"  
  
"ROTTEN SONS OF BITCHES I'LL KILL YOU! AYA, HELP ME! PLEASE!" Omi gasped as Yohji sat down in a chair and took him across his lap, cotton- clad buns upraised and open for attack. "Aya, make 'em stop! I'm too old for this!"  
  
The redheaded bishounen set down the novel he'd been reading, a small smile on his face. "Actually, Omi, I think you could benefit from this. Yohji has a point about you neglecting instructions, and this might just be what you need." He took up his book again and skimmed for the spot he'd left off at. "Yohji, don't hit him too hard. Ken, come back here."  
  
Yohji gleefully adjusted his youngest crewmember over his lap and rested a broad hand over the seat of the boxers. "Let's see.ten for not listening, five for language, and five for threatening to kill us. Now hold still, or I'll double it." Omi glared up openly to Balinese, making Yohji chuckle softly. "Don't worry; twenty swats will go by fast."  
  
"Real comforting," Omi sneered. SMACK. "OW! YOHJI, THAT HURT!" SMACK.  
  
"Of course it did." SMACK. "You wouldn't learn anything if it tickled." SMACK. "Stop squirming; only sixteen left." SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. By the eighth swat, Omi was back to kicking his legs and hollering about how unfair it all was. Just because he was youngest! It wasn't his choice to be so young compared to the other three! How come he couldn't catch a break around here?! SMACK. SMACK. SMACK.  
  
The muffled slaps continued, and soon Omi's howls were of anguish, not anger. Under the boxers, his bottom glowed a healthy pink, and Yohji relished it. He rather liked this turn of events, and wished he would have discovered it sooner. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. He mentally counted each swat and angled it perfectly to be sure Omi's entire butt was spanked properly. Oops, missed a spot. SMACK. Meanwhile, Ken had a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter, and Aya held the novel up a little higher to avoid anyone noticing his grin.  
  
SMACK. SMACK. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! There; all twenty. "All right, chibi tenshi," Yohji said sternly, helping Omi to stand up. "What have we learned today from all this?"  
  
Omi was tempted to say, but bit it back and meekly bowed his head. "I should follow directions the first time they're given," he mumbled, his heart smoldering with contempt.  
  
"That's part of it," Yohji said, standing to his full height with his hands on his hips. "Now, tell me the rest."  
  
Omi looked up, a rich blush stealing across his face. "BAKAYARO!" he suddenly shouted, dashing quickly to his room so no one could see the tears leaking from his eyes. That had hurt! It STILL hurt! He knew he'd probably made it worse by running to his room, but he didn't care. He slammed the door shut and threw himself on his bed, sobbing quietly into his pillow and kicking his shorts aside. Stupid jerks, all of them! Rotten sons of bitches, he wished they'd all die!  
  
A knock on his door was a most unwelcome thing, but Omi felt too wretched to send them away as he would have seen proper. He hid his face shamefully and refused to acknowledge the intruder, figuring he knew who it was anyway. "Omi, don't be angry."  
  
That was the last thing Omi wanted to hear. "ARE YOU INSANE?!" he yelped, but the rest of his anger dissolved into tears. "You just humiliated me! How can I not be angry?! Just get out of here! Leave me alone!"  
  
Yohji smiled softly and eased an icepack over the rump he'd only recently assaulted. "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, but please hear me out. I made that plan to minimize the risks of you getting hurt, and you ignored me and put us in needless danger. We're both very lucky to have gotten here alive; there are much worse things than being punished and humiliated. If one thing would have gone wrong tonight, you'd have been crying for a whole different reason, provided you weren't killed first."  
  
"Then why'd you do it?" Omi meekly whispered, still angry but having a better grasp on the situation. "You didn't need to do it in front of Aya and Ken."  
  
"That was probably too much, but it got my point across, ne?" The eldest assassin smoothed Omi's hair out of his eyes and kissed his tear- streaked cheek, hoping to get him out of his anger. "It's a weird thing to say, but I'd rather you be here with a sore bottom and a hot temper than bleeding to death somewhere where I can't find you. Understand?"  
  
Omi nodded, a small sniffle escaping him. "Hai, I do." He felt better as Yohji swept him up and took him into his lap, cuddling him and chasing away his bad mood. "I'll listen next time, Yohji. I promise."  
  
Yohji kissed Omi full on his lips, chuckling as they parted. "And I won't be so much of a damn jerk to you. I' m very glad you're alive, now let's keep it that way."  
  
In the hallway, Ken and Aya backed away from Omi's bedroom door and went back to the couch to continue what they were doing before Yohji and Omi had interrupted. "Now where were we, Ken?" Aya said, taking up his book. "Oh yes, the good part."  
  
"What's the good part?" Ken asked, a hint of worry in his tone.  
  
"The part where you and I go to bed," the redhead purred. "You should have been in your pajamas a while ago."  
  
Ken backed up, smelling playful danger. "Hey, I can't help it I was distracted by Yohji and Omi! Come on, I'll go put 'em on now. Don't look at me like that! Come on, Aya!" It was too late to escape; Siberian let out an unmanly 'eep' as Abyssinian swept him over one shoulder and carried him to their room, a hairbrush safely tucked in his pocket.  
  
~Owari~  
  
Strange enough? I left room for a sequel. 0.0 


End file.
